


Listen, and just breathe

by Tiacchi



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Comfort, Crying Kise Ryouta, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 12:17:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7892002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiacchi/pseuds/Tiacchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kise starts to doubt himself and his worth as an ace of Kaijou. It's not the first time he's considered quitting basketball altogether. Kasamatsu is the one who sits and listens, and somehow, just his presence is enough to calm him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Listen, and just breathe

**Author's Note:**

> There's mentions of Anxiety, so for those of you who have panic attacks, here's a warning. I really hope you enjoy this, and I hope Kise and Kasamatsu are kept in character!

Kise has considered quitting basketball **more** than **_once_**.

He hasn't told anyone, because it's something he wants to _forget_. Something he doesn't **want** to remember. That time back in Teiko, it was one of the hardest times in the blonde's life, something he hasn't spoken to his family, definitely not to his team. 

His last year was one giant blur.

The only thing he remembers is being told by Akashi,

_'They are now enemies'._

Does that mean they can't be friends off the court? Were they ever friends to begin with? 

He just didn't know.

So he focused a lot on his career, making himself known outside the basketball world. It was easy, posing for the cameras, being a happy and smiling 'Kise Ryouta.' 

He didn't want anyone to see the broken side to him, the one yearning for his old team to make amends, to rejoin as the strongest in Japan. But.. He knew it was all a dream, and there wasn't anything he could do, nothing he could say..

So he remained silent..

But he didn't think.. when he entered Kaijou's doors for the first time, he'd open up to the one person who kicked his face, who had the balls to stand up to him, put him in his place and call him ' _Kaijou's first year, Kise Ryouta.'_

Somehow, the phrase echoed in his mind, and little by little, mended his broken heart.

He was naive to think things would be perfect from that moment.

///

It was after practice, and the school was silent. Not a single sound could be heard across the courtyard, in the empty halls and barren classrooms. But when anyone headed to the gym, deep within, they could hear slamming against metal lockers, harsh panting and several curses spilling from a young boy's mouth. He was sure everyone left, made careful calculations to ensure no one could see, could witness, the mental breakdown that is Kise Ryouta. If the team saw him weak, they would be affected. As the ace, it was his duty to lead the team, not bring them down.

Despite that, he felt his fingers tremble in anguish, his voice raw and sore from the shouting. His cheeks were flushed from the angered tears, and he was sure he'd have a headache after slamming his head against the cool metal several times. But that still didn't matter, not to him.. not to the aching in his ankle from overworking himself. 

He was weak.

He wouldn't be left alone in the dust. Each time he saw the miracles play, he would get the urge to practice. Because they were always stronger, always growing. And what about him? He was part of the mighty Blue Elites, Kaijou high. But, he didn't feel part of the team. All he could see, perfectly and clearly in his mind, was his body trembling, the floors polished with sweat from their practice meet his face as he once again, collapsed from overworking himself. Even after practice ended, he would spend several more hours at the park near his house in secret, working on his perfect copy. 

He was punished when he was caught, and therefore couldn't practice for a whole week. Which also meant sitting on the sidelines during a couple practice matches. His whole body desired to play, to be with the team.. HIS team.. But when he realized they could win without him, they were  _strong_ without him, he gave up, and didn't bother showing up to practice at all. 

_They don't need you. They only want you for the status. You're only wanted for your power. Your existence means nothing._

He left the locker room with his head bowed and tears spilling one after another as the paper for his resignation was slipped into his captain's locker. He could never show his face at Kaijou again, and he was determined to keep it that way. 

But one person didn't agree, and when he found that paper fall out of his locker the following day, he wasn't sad. He wasn't angry.

He was downright **furious**.

///

"What the fuck is this?!"

He didn't look at his captain, stubbornly keeping his eyes trained on the empty field once occupied by a soccer team. Why he chose to come to the park and watch them he couldn't say for sure. But he definitely wouldn't show this weak, pitiful state to his captain. 

"Exactly what it looks like."

His response is short and stiff, as if he's fighting every ounce of himself not to crumble and break in front of this man.

His captain.. **and**.. his significant other..

He grunts when Kasamatsu's fist collides with his cheek, but doesn't make an effort to dodge or block. He takes it all, because he truly feels he deserves it. To be beaten off the high horse he somehow got himself stuck on. Maybe he'll bring him out of his slump, but he inwardly scoffs at that.

No one's been able to understand him.

None of the miracles, who are or have been in his position, weren't able to bring him back. Kurokocchi.. the man he greatly respected and admired, wasn't able to knock sense into him.. So how could this man - this short, angry,  _older_ boy who's  _normal_  - possibly understand what he's going through? The thoughts running through his mind like a marathon, threatening to consume his entire being should he slow down even just a little.

He **couldn't** , and he was foolish to think anyone could.

Yet, Kasamatsu continued to stand in front of him, grasping his shirt angrily, steel-blue hues glowing dangerously with anger, fury.. _**disappointment**_..

Ouch.. That last one hurts the most.

" _ **Why**_?"

Kise's head snaps up then, golden hues wide and attentive on the only word whispered from Kasamatsu's mouth. 

"If you tell me that, I'll leave you alone. If you can be honest with me, honest with  _yourself_ , I'll walk away without another word." his eyes glowed even brighter, somehow mesmerizing Kise, and he felt his throat close up, his breathing short and choppy. He goes to open his mouth, ready to yell at him, to throw every single negative thought about the team at the captain, to make himself feel better.

He finds himself only breaking down in tears, head bowed once more as his hues snap shut, and then.. his entire body shook violently.

He couldn't find the words to say, the voice he used on a daily basis, was no longer around to back him up. He didn't want to quit. Didn't want to abandon the one team that kept fighting by his side despite his fuckups and arrogant mouth. But.. he was only weighting them down with his weakness.

He wasn't strong, wasn't like the other miracles. He was the weakest, the least likable.. he was nobody but an empty shell. And he wanted to express all of this to the man in front of him. He wanted to rest his head in his chest, pour his entire heart to the man looking down at him. He didn't want him staring at him with anger and disappointment.. He wanted to see him smile proudly. Needed to see him look at him with nothing but adoration and love.

However, if he got that from Kasamatsu, he was scared he'd break under the pressure. He didn't want to hurt him, want to turn him into the empty vessel he now is.. He just wanted Kasamatsu Yukio, captain and third year of Kaijou high.

There's a sigh vibrating through the thick air, and then soon, there were muscled, comforting arms around his body, and his head snapped up in shock. Kasamatsu immediately pushed it down into his chest, holding Kise to the spot where his heart beat, ached and pounded for this annoying, vibrant first year. He could only smile softly at those thoughts.

"Listen Ryouta.." he hears the gasp, but tightens his grasp on his head, soon sifting his thin fingers through the blonde locks, "just _**breathe**_..:

Kise's body reacts on instinct, his much bigger arms wrapping around the shorter male's waist, taking several deep breaths like he was instructed. 

_Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale._

"Good boy..." he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to his temple, the other hand going to rub his back, his muscles trembling under his touch.

Kasamatsu sits down on the bench beside him, adjusting their position so Kise is still laying against his chest, puffed cheeks buried in the fabric of his shirt. He takes off his jacket when the blonde shivers from the wind, draping it over his shoulders, attempting to keep him warm.

"You're such a troublesome boy..." he mutters, blinking when Kise tightens his hold, but he only chuckles at that, never stopping his ministrations. "I didn't say it was a bad thing, Ryouta."

He finally lifts his head up, eyes red from the tears, but his golden hues still sparkle brightly,  _too_ brightly, and he only smiles softly, dipping his head to press a chaste kiss to his chapped lips. He rubs his cheekbones, shaking his head,

"Look at you.. so gorgeous..."

He smiles softly, sniffling when he tries to answer, "Y..Yeah..?"

Kasamatsu only nods, brushing a couple bangs from his face, "When you're this open, this vulnerable, I think you look the most beautiful."

He ignores the way his cheeks burn at the compliment, but he's not lying. When he sees Kise as this, a normal, teenage boy with lots of struggles, that's when he finds himself the most attractive to him. Granted, when he's happy and bubbly, he finds himself in love. But knowing he can trust him enough to show him this side.. it makes Kasamatsu's heart tremble with an emotion he can't describe. 

"Now..." he whispers, helping him stand and walks him back to his house, "When we get back, you're going to tell me everything.. but take your time.. I'm not going anywhere."

And when they got to his house, in the comfort of Kasamatsu's bedroom, just the two of them with two mugs of hot chocolate, he tells his captain **everything**. The entire time, Kise finds himself listening... and learning to just _breathe_. 


End file.
